Good Sunday, I hope everyone has had an outstanding weekend and especially a super Sunday. I want you to take a look at unforgiveness from a romantic male point of view and please let me know your thoughts both men and women.
Hi my name is John and I am truly ashamed at all the heartache and pain I’ve caused some beautiful women, and I mean beautiful inside and out. My mother always taught me to honor and respect women but somewhere along the way I lost my training and decades later I’m still dealing with the pain and guilt unforgiveness causes. Now let me be clear I was never physically abusive to any women I’ve ever been involved with. I didn’t say mean and disrespectful things to women, as a matter of fact in most instances I wouldn’t say anything I would just leave and go on to the next one. My issues with women stemmed from my inability to either commit or stay committed to the woman I claimed to love. To the women that I’ve hurt I want you to know that I don’t take your pain lightly and I am truly, truly, sorry, I mean bottom of the heart sorry. Now maybe at this stage of your life my apology doesn’t mean much to you, but for me it’s a step in learning to forgive myself, which up to this point in my life I’ve been unable and unwilling to do! To all the brothers out in the audience I need you to hear me clearly “be not deceived God is not mocked, what soever a man soweth so shall he reap”. I always said I wanted a woman that was all about me, who would love and support me, one who would be all in and God gave me that woman time and time again. For reasons I can’t explain, I messed it up every damn time. This one young lady claimed to be in love with me but wasn’t giving up the goodies so I did enough to keep her but did my dirt on the side. Another woman claimed I was the one she wanted spend the rest of her life with and was giving me all the goodies I could handle and yet I strayed. Another woman who again claimed I was the one who she wanted to spend her life with, did what ever it took to stay in my life for years even though we live in different states, she was attentive, gave me whatever I desired sexually and yet I betrayed her too. I could go on and on sharing stories about women who were everything you looked for in a woman, there was no cheating in these women. They were respectful, honest, goal oriented, and all about your boy John but it was never enough. I asked God to send me a certain type of women and he did over and over again and I dogged each one. Finally God sent me the opposite of what I wanted and it wasn’t until I saw how it felt to be with a woman that shows you no attention, no respect, no love, no sex, nothing did I appreciate the gifts God tried to give me for oh so long. I’m in a beautiful relationship with a women who is everything I asked God for when I was a egotistical, arrogant, all about me man, and I’ve finally been able to forgive myself for the hurt I’ve caused and my biggest fear is Reap is coming for me. Should I have to pay for deeds done years ago??? Even though I’ve asked for forgiveness and I’ve forgiven myself???